Home After 19 Days

On this first day of 2016 I am compelled to give thanks to God, the prayers of many friends, the support of family, and the wisdom of the medical community for delivering me from the greatest physical trial I have ever endured.  To say that my perspective on life has been recalibrated is to understate it.  It feels like a rebirth and renewal has taken place within me that can only emerge through the crucible of trial.

On December 9th, a seemingly normal day, severe abdominal pain suddenly set in sending me straight to the emergency room.  We were soon told that acute pancreatitis along with some pneumonia in the left lung area were the culprits. I didn't know it at the time but the battle to stabilize and heal my body would be a long, grueling, 19-day struggle that included two stays in the ICU and three different hospital rooms.

The struggle for control of your thoughts and fears in life-threatening circumstances might be the most difficult aspect of such a moment. I desperately clung to my foundational beliefs in God, His Word, His Promises and the prayers of God's people. But to say that I unwavered in those truths at all times is at best a misrepresentation and at worst, an outright lie.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I floated between victorious moments pregnant with faith and lonely stretches gripped with fear.  I cried.  I cried out to God.  I sang songs of hope.  I listened.  My hand was often held.  Then a little fear creeped in again.  The fear left.  Hope abounded. The cycle was exhausting.

My faith, hope, and love in the God who pours out His grace and mercy abundantly has a new, quiet strength.  The reason, which is critical to understand, is NOT because I received the positive outcome I desired.  Don't misunderstand me, I am exceedingly grateful for God's touch on my life and am giving all glory and honor due His name. But my soul is primarily overflowing with life because God always comes near.  God sings songs over us in the good and difficult times, in belief and doubt, in wandering and anchored hearts, and in ordinary times. God is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore.  There is no circumstance, pain, or personal accolade that is void of His presence.

I'm not sure how you are starting off 2016 but am sure of this:  God's ways are higher than ours.  He renews our strength.  He rescues.  He teaches through the trials of life. And just as He did 2,000 years ago in Jesus, He comes near to be with us.  He enters this side of eternity to ultimately take us one day to His side of eternity.  In the meantime, He grants us new days and seasons to advance His work on earth - an opportunity I am relishing in this first day of 2016.

Ex nihilo,

R.J. Rhoden