Miles spoke up first. "Dad, what are you doing?"
I said, "Going sledding with you."
"Really?" was his surprised response. And then he turned to his sister, "Avery, Dad is going with us." And she replied with a quiet mumble, "Huh?" And that was it. The two of them walked passed me and out the door.
It's typically good not to respond with your first reaction. And this was no exception. I was mad and wanted to give them a big lecture on the busyness of life and how appreciative they should be that I was setting aside some time to do this. Basically, I wanted to critique them for their response not me. And then the little but powerful voice began to speak to me.
"Why would you expect them to react any other way? Their assumption, based on repeated behavior, is that they play in the snow alone or with their mother. Not you. So get over it or change their assumption," said the little but powerful voice.
Perhaps there is no greater example of someone changing their assumption than the Apostle Paul. The early followers of Jesus knew him initially to be strongly religious and a dedicated killer of their kind. So when word began to spread of his conversion, there was great skepticism surrounding his new faith. Paul spent much of the following years walking out his new faith in front of a host of doubters.
On one occasion, in a letter he wrote to the church at Philippi, he penned these words: One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things (Philippians 3:13b-15a). The Word of the Lord.
Here are some insights from Paul.
Your Thoughts Not Theirs
Paul understood that he could not control others' thoughts but he could his own. So he does NOT ask others to forget what is behind. He does not write, "Forget what I used to do since I am now straining toward what is ahead." Paul is not trying to convince them of his change; rather, he is describing his change process to them. There is a big difference. When we are implementing some changes, we are tempted to spend energy asking people to change their assumptions toward us. But words do not change assumptions. Only behavior and time do. People need space to determine if the change is a new standard or a new whim.
Memory Control not Memory Denial
When Paul describes that he is choosing to forget what is behind, he is not suggesting a denial of what took place. It is unhealthy to overly dwell upon or overly deny the past. Both extremes are destructive in their own way. To overly dwell upon something is to devalue God's grace and mercy. To overly deny the past is to disregard our history, running the risk of repeating it. And Paul is not suggesting that we are capable of eradicating the past from our thinking. He is, however, describing the ability God gives us to control memories - keeping them in the past where they belong not the present. Don't drag yesterday into today.
A Marathon not A Sprint
Paul is using the metaphor of a race to describe his growth process. He paints the picture of a runner who is straining and pushing ahead. Over the years I have struggled with this imagery because I always envisioned the runner in a short sprint which seemingly equates our spirituality to a short burst of energy that basically produces fatigue. Not very appealing. But Paul's metaphor is about a marathon not a sprint. The straining is about pace and endurance not quickness. My friend, Wayne Mancari, is an avid runner. He told me one time, "In a marathon if you think that your pace is just right, slow down a little. If you think your pace is a little slow, it is probably the perfect speed to ensure completion." And the same is true for our spiritual growth. Find your pace. Strain. Endure. But don't sprint.
Why not What
I recently watched a Ted Talk by Simon Sinek on How Great Leaders Inspire. I highly recommend it. He talks about the importance of anchoring our message in the why more than the what. He said, "People don't buy what we do; they buy why we do it!" Paul's message clearly focuses on the why: "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Paul not only knows why he is changing but is motivated by it. The what informs us but it does not inspire us. And regular inspiration is needed to keep us on the pathway of change - pushing us through tough seasons. When we get stuck, our tendency is to modify what we are doing. While that might be helpful at times, it should not be our default assumption. We may just need to revisit and reaffirm the why.
Mature Audiences Only
Paul gives us a surprise conclusion. He says that this is a process for "all that are mature." Up until this point, we assume that he is giving a roadmap for the immature who need to change - not the mature that have supposedly already done so. But a strong indication of spiritual maturity is not a sense of arrival but of the journey. Those I spiritually admire always have a keen awareness of our continual need for God's grace. In other words, the closer one draws to God, the clearer one sees ugliness and the inability to fix it humanly or instantly. Paul knows this in his own life and imparts it to us as well. Changing their assumption is with us till we depart this world.
So I went sledding with my kids that day. I doubt either of them are prepared to announce that their dad loves to sled. But this one thing I am sure of. The next time their assumption will be slightly different. I'm on my way.
Ex nihilo,
R.J Rhoden
On one occasion, in a letter he wrote to the church at Philippi, he penned these words: One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things (Philippians 3:13b-15a). The Word of the Lord.
Here are some insights from Paul.
Your Thoughts Not Theirs
Paul understood that he could not control others' thoughts but he could his own. So he does NOT ask others to forget what is behind. He does not write, "Forget what I used to do since I am now straining toward what is ahead." Paul is not trying to convince them of his change; rather, he is describing his change process to them. There is a big difference. When we are implementing some changes, we are tempted to spend energy asking people to change their assumptions toward us. But words do not change assumptions. Only behavior and time do. People need space to determine if the change is a new standard or a new whim.
Memory Control not Memory Denial
When Paul describes that he is choosing to forget what is behind, he is not suggesting a denial of what took place. It is unhealthy to overly dwell upon or overly deny the past. Both extremes are destructive in their own way. To overly dwell upon something is to devalue God's grace and mercy. To overly deny the past is to disregard our history, running the risk of repeating it. And Paul is not suggesting that we are capable of eradicating the past from our thinking. He is, however, describing the ability God gives us to control memories - keeping them in the past where they belong not the present. Don't drag yesterday into today.
A Marathon not A Sprint
Paul is using the metaphor of a race to describe his growth process. He paints the picture of a runner who is straining and pushing ahead. Over the years I have struggled with this imagery because I always envisioned the runner in a short sprint which seemingly equates our spirituality to a short burst of energy that basically produces fatigue. Not very appealing. But Paul's metaphor is about a marathon not a sprint. The straining is about pace and endurance not quickness. My friend, Wayne Mancari, is an avid runner. He told me one time, "In a marathon if you think that your pace is just right, slow down a little. If you think your pace is a little slow, it is probably the perfect speed to ensure completion." And the same is true for our spiritual growth. Find your pace. Strain. Endure. But don't sprint.
Why not What
I recently watched a Ted Talk by Simon Sinek on How Great Leaders Inspire. I highly recommend it. He talks about the importance of anchoring our message in the why more than the what. He said, "People don't buy what we do; they buy why we do it!" Paul's message clearly focuses on the why: "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Paul not only knows why he is changing but is motivated by it. The what informs us but it does not inspire us. And regular inspiration is needed to keep us on the pathway of change - pushing us through tough seasons. When we get stuck, our tendency is to modify what we are doing. While that might be helpful at times, it should not be our default assumption. We may just need to revisit and reaffirm the why.
Mature Audiences Only
Paul gives us a surprise conclusion. He says that this is a process for "all that are mature." Up until this point, we assume that he is giving a roadmap for the immature who need to change - not the mature that have supposedly already done so. But a strong indication of spiritual maturity is not a sense of arrival but of the journey. Those I spiritually admire always have a keen awareness of our continual need for God's grace. In other words, the closer one draws to God, the clearer one sees ugliness and the inability to fix it humanly or instantly. Paul knows this in his own life and imparts it to us as well. Changing their assumption is with us till we depart this world.
So I went sledding with my kids that day. I doubt either of them are prepared to announce that their dad loves to sled. But this one thing I am sure of. The next time their assumption will be slightly different. I'm on my way.
Ex nihilo,
R.J Rhoden
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